As I watched Aleksandr slide into my DMs, I couldn’t help but wonder: did I want a white Russian to appear cosmopolitan, or was I just thirsty for a White Russian and a Cosmo?
Miranda: “Send a selfie,” ha! Does he think you’re a catfish?
Carrie: No. Well, I don’t think so.
Miranda: Instead of photo captions, we should have legal disclaimers online. “If you see me on Match.com, please know that you will be dating a copy of my old theater headshot.”
Samantha: What’s the Big deal? Too soon? Send him a belfie and be done with it.
Charlotte: I don’t know what compelled me to Google that, but I regret it.
Samantha: Oh, please! A belfie is a butt selfie. The Internet is fabulous with this kind of DIY. There’s no standard belfie pose, per se. To get under it, I lay on my stomach and slithered like a snake, back arched, butt sticking up in the air. Those pictures look really good. I also do one where I twist my body in an upright S curve, with a hiss.
Charlotte: These poses in their serpentine manner and humanism are almost a museum piece. We have some, actually, in neoclassic sculpture.
Miranda: Sounds like your thirst trap is enjoying a second renaissance.
Samantha: Hey, Medusa might have had her share of man trouble, but she knew how to make a guy rock hard. Let me have all the snake charmer ability and not to ask my stylist, a heady constriction from myth, about a tail, curl, or braid of a snake wig and he has a hissy fit.
Charlotte: Check, please—no sirree, you’ll never see me there.
I needed to process everything that had happened, Somewhere between an unsalted egg and bottomless mimosas. I finally had some time to think.
Did I actually want to volunteer another selfie shot into cyberspace? Or after a two-shot with Buzz at NASA, did I just need some space?
Any finally, the most important voice-over: No matter who you decide to share your selfie with or how long it took to get the look, absofuckinglutely picture-perfect, you’ll never get through it without your subscription to Photogenic.
Camera pans to view of paywall.
To continue reading about and learn how you too can get Carrie’s sought-after look in “Sex and the Selfie,” you must be a paid subscriber, just like on HBO. You can subscribe hereunder and get a full year of Photogenic for $4.17 a month—that’s 1970s prices, just 96¢ per edition!
Table of contents
What Does Sex and the Selfie Look Like?
The Look
Elements of Seduction
